I'm triggered, what do I do?
By: Dr. Chrissy Davis, Ph.D
You’re watching a movie. There is a scene that catches you off guard a little. You look over to your friends who are watching it with you, they don’t seem as phased. You feel frozen though. You want to hide your eyes or disappear. What’s going on?
The word “trigger” has gotten a lot of buzzy attention the past several years. Trigger Warning is a phrase that helps with accessibility to warn folks there may be violent or heavy emotional content up ahead, it is also a phrase that has gotten flack for being overused. The best way to keep yourself feeling emotionally safe is to know what your triggers are to empower yourself how to move through the world. What are emotional triggers, and how can you identify when you feel triggered? And even more importantly, what can you do to calm your mind and body after you have experienced a triggering reaction?
A trigger is an event that precipitates a reaction. A common example is a trigger is the mechanism that sets off a firearm. A trigger isn’t the bullet, but it’s the process that then sets off the bullet and causes an event. But, when we think about this emotionally, we don’t have to think in terms of violence, firearms, and harm. We can think about it as a mechanism that warns our body that danger may be starting.
What do emotional triggers look like and feel like?
Sometimes, a sense can be a trigger. Certain smells, seasons, sounds, visuals– can be triggering if they remind us of a hard time, or associated with a traumatic event. Other times, a trigger is simply a reminder. Say the movie you were watching had a scene that portrayed violence against a woman. A quick scene and background context in the movie to some, can be very triggering to others depending on our mental health history, our sensitivity levels, and our life experiences.
When we are triggered, what happens in our nervous system?
According to the National Institute of Health, when we are triggered, this can activate our body’s fight or flight response. Stress hormones flood our body, and our sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear. It keeps us on guard to keep us safe. But, if we are watching a scene in a movie with trusted friends on a Friday night, there is nothing physically to guard ourselves against. We are guarding our emotions when our fight or flight response is triggered. Fight or flight is a helpful response if something harmful is about to happen to us, but it is not so helpful if you’re just having a cozy movie night with friends.
So… what do I do if I get emotionally triggered?
Say you are the only one feeling triggered when watching that movie with your friends. What are some things we can do to remind our mind and body we are safe?
You can always step away from a harmful situation. Say that the violence in the movie continues, and your fight or flight response remains heightened. Feel free to excuse yourself or take a break. Here’s some things you can do if you need a break:
Splash some cold water on your face in the bathroom.
Step out to the porch to get some fresh air.
Scroll Instagram while the movie wraps up if you want to stay hanging out with your friends.
Remember, just because triggering content does not affect all of us in the same way, doesn’t mean your reaction isn’t valid. Your body is trying to tell you that you feel unsafe, and it is OK to respond to that. Just be aware, others may not be having the same reaction as you, and that’s OK too.
Grounding skills help. Use your 5 senses to focus on something sensory. Find all the purple objects in the room you’re in. Put on some lotion that smells good. Wrap up in a soft blanket. Put in your airpods and listen to something calming.
Take time to process afterwards how you felt. Talk to a trusted friend, or your therapist about how you were feeling to emotionally process. Your emotional response may be due to a past event that needs attention and healing. If you’re not ready to talk about it yet, write in your journal for 10 minutes about it (set a timer so you don’t get triggered again!). Your reaction may need somewhere to go.
Prevention can be helpful. You might give your friends the heads up in the future that you can’t watch movies/scenes with certain content in it. Or let them know ahead of time you may close your eyes or step away until certain scenes are over. Sometimes, it may mean certain movies are a no-go all together. Sometimes, it means if you go to the movie theater and are surprised by a triggering scene, that might be time to go get grounded with some popcorn and a bathroom break.
You get to decide what you are comfortable with, and if certain content always makes you feel uneasy, that’s good information for keeping yourself emotionally safe and well.
About:
Dr. Chrissy Davis, Ph.D (she/her) is psychotherapist for And Still We Rise. She is under the supervision of Dr. Natasha Holmes. Learn more about Chrissy here.